I originally setup using hotmail on the ipad and iphone and evernts setup on outlook.com calendar synced to the ipad and iphone but not the otherway around 

so I thought i would use exchange server option - so deleted the account on ipad

resetup with the exhange server option - BUT did not get asked or confirm server ID (m.outlook.com or m.hotmail.com) 

as expected 

and this time no sync with outlook.com at all 

now i tested this with a friends ipad and hotmail account earlier in the week and when he setup the account in the ipad for hotmail using the exchange server it confirmed the m.hotmail.com server ID

and events entered on the calendar synced back to hotmail.com calendar 

this will be my third visit to a friend to setup the calendar 

she just wants

WLM client calendar to sync to outlook.com calendar and iphone and ipad - 

and work the other way 

iphone/ipad to outlook.com to wlm 

thanks